member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
They are going to name an STD after you.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize