I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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