doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
