2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize