Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
