Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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