At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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