Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
