So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
