the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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