I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think my nap took me to another dimension
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
