I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
