im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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