so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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