actually, I'm a sock model
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
