I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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