Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
