what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We had to coat check the pizza.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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