dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize