we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
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Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
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They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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