:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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