But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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