Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
