I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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