apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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