I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
