I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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