getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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