i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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