you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
