I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
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I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize