Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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