Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
