last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
either way he was missing a nipple.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
