Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i came on her dog
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Randomize
