I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
