if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
