My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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