We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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