Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
