omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
