it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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