I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize