i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
