Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
