i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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