So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
