It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
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I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
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Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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