Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
