He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
