What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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