Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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