Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
