k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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