he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I could fuck to npr.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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