Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
