Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
