I'm really into asian looking animals
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
