i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
