it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
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Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize